Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Caution! My opinions are here.
It's been so long and it's amazing how much life can change so quickly! I miss blogging, but my internet time is very limited these days. There are so many priorities for me and often time sleep and crashing on the couch win out. I do want to reconnect and maintain my place in the internet world, but all in due time.
So I went back to work in November and I am the HR Director at a community health center. It's really been so good to be back using the HR person that is in me. I definitely feel blessed to have found my calling and my gift and truly enjoy what I do - even on the hard days.
I had a clear push from the Lord to go back to work - so I cannot question that this is where I am supposed to be right now. The doors opened at the right time for our family - particularly when this ugly recession started to rear it's head. Matt has a wonderful job too, but we are being cautious and taking the road we have been pointed to.
It has been a pretty smooth transition for us...and as time and decisions have moved forward it has gone as best as possible! Sam is at a wonderful school 3 days a week and gets to spend 2 days a week with his G-ma. He loves each and every day he gets at both places and it feels so good to see him enjoy his special moments in each environment. When he's with G-ma I know he's getting lots of love, attention and basically whatever he wants! And the days he's at school he's learning so much and socializing with other kids. It's been so good.
Do I miss him? Terribly. I miss him. I miss the light of my home and folding laundry in the middle of the day while it's raining. There are lots of things I miss. But there were lots of things I missed about my career that I thought about during my time at home too.
Women definitely have a unique perspective when it comes to the areas of work and home. I feel pretty unique to have experienced both thus far. I don't think one is far superior than the other. I just think that people's place in life is different. So here's my thoughts:
If I had to stand on a soap box and shout my opinions thus far, I would say that one has emerged strongly within me: Since when is staying at home a right? I say this because I feel like some women view it as their husband's responsibility to work one, even two jobs so they can be home with the children. If anyone is listening - know this: being with your children all day is a privilege and not a right. A privilege to enjoy those moments. An economically-based privilege. Not all women of the world get to spend their days with their children...and certainly not all American women.
And about the issue of who works harder? Please! They are BOTH tough. Just in different ways. There are indulgences at home. They are indulgences at work. Each has their own unique challenge.
For now I feel really good about where I am. I have been blessed with a beautiful little boy from the Lord. He has given me a great deal of responsibility in that gift. First and foremost is nurturing him with love, security, food and shelter. Matt and I are a team and as a team we are facing that responsibility together. To be honest, it feels really good to contribute to the family financially and offer some level of security to our family unit during tough economic times. The world is a scary place these days - and we definitely have reason for caution when it comes to job security.
I have faith. The Lord provides. But your prayers have to have feet. Sure, faith that the Lord will provide is essential. But that's just the starting point. He gives hands, feet, and ability to walk forward in faith - not sit by and expect him to just do what we ask. We are doing just that and know that in the end, things will be OK.
By the way, if you are ever tempted to judge a woman for her choice of staying at home or working you just have to read this book: Mommy Wars. It's an amazing compilation of stories that will make you laugh and cry. It's written by women on both sides - and a beautiful reference whenever you feel strongly on one side or the other. :)
One more thing I just have to say to Christian moms out there. PLEASE remember that being a Godly wife and mother does not equal "I stay home with my children." There is nothing that burns me up more than someone telling me that it's the "Godly" thing to do. I simply cannot find a biblical reference that tells me that. I do know that we are to honor our husbands and I hope that my husband feels honored by my being receptive to his request that I return to work for the future security of my family.
(stepping off of my soap box now)